This isn’t How My Mother Makes It

There comes a time, in every newly wed’s life, (usually in the first year), when the gallant husband comes up his beautiful wife, puts his arms around her waist, and says;

“Darling, I’d love some chicken salad.  Can you make me some?”

Or something along those lines.

Whereupon the beautiful wife says;

“Why of course!  I’ve been making that since I was knee high to a grasshopper!”

And if she’s a very good wife indeed, she whisks off to the kitchen and prepares a lovely chicken salad, complete with relish, celery, egg, a hint of sugar, because she think’s he’ll probably want it sweet, and other things I don’t quite remember now.

Then, because she loves him dearly, she’ll put it on some bread, put all that on a plate, and carry it to the Gallant Husband at his desk.

After the appropriate thank you kiss, he takes a bite.

He chews.

He puts it down.

“This isn’t how mom makes it.”

Wifely look.  We don’t really NEED to say anything.

“Can you get her recipe?”

At this point, we are presented with several options.  we can,

One: Burst into tears.

Two: Walk away in stony silence.

Three:  Say in a very, very sweet voice, “Don’t you like it?”

Four:  Look disappointed, but rally and go, “Of course, I’ll message her at once for it.”

Now, this isn’t EXACTLY what happened, I MAY have altered it a little just to make it more interesting.  These might not have been our EXACT words or actions, but I think you get the basic drift.

Be that as it may, I now make my mother in laws chicken salad when he requests it.

And to be very honest, I like it better than the version I made so long ago.

This is all the stuff you need…  plus chicken… which I already had boiling when I took this picture.  I was in a rush.  (I’m always in a rush…)  I didn’t want to take a picture of boiling chicken either… it’s ugly… and I hate the smell.

Do this to your green onions.  Be as aggressive as you like, the thinner chopped the better.

Do the same thing to your chicken.  You COULD put it in a food processor, but I prefer it this way.  I don’t like the paste texture you get from the processor.

Put it in a bowl.

Smother it in salt and pepper to your taste.  I like it hot.

Add mayonnaise and mix.  It’s a beautiful thing.

Slather on bread and enjoy.  Or, eat it all straight out of the bowl.

I didn’t eat it ALL.

I just had a few bites.

It’s good.  Okay?

Chicken Salad.  The way my mother in law makes it.

3 chicken breasts boiled.  Or you could do a whole chicken.  Whatever floats your boat.

1/2 cup green onions.  (you can always add more or less, go with what your tastes are.  I like potent.)

salt to taste

pepper to taste

Mayonnaise a few big spoonfuls..  Again, you have to go with your taste buds…  I like it creamy…  not dry.

Dice chicken and onions into very, very small bits.  As small as you can reasonably make them.  Mix with salt, pepper, and mayonnaise.

Spread on bread and devour.   With your husband.  If you’re on speaking terms again.

And on a completely off topic ending baby picture…

Corn cobs that you’ve eaten most of the corn off at dinner, make for GREAT teething dinner things.  They keep little man happy, getting all the rest of the corn off.  They can safely chew on it without you having to worry about them breaking off pieces and choking.  They let you finish your own dinner.

They’re wonderful.


About Tabi

I love the simple things in life, like, wearing skirts and going barefoot. Cooking glorious meals to feed friends and family. Trying to find healthy food at the grocery store on a limited budget. Spinning wool, (yes that's from sheep and goats and llamas), crocheting, and weaving. Picking fresh produce out of a garden, pouring real maple syrup over pancakes, and making a warm and loving home for my family. However, I don't use only whole wheat flour. I do not take reusable grocery bags to the store with me. I indulge in boxed meals when I must. I prefer sugar to honey. I do not shop at Whole Foods, Trader Joes, or Earth Fare except on very special occasions when I have extravagant amounts of money to spend. I HATE cloth diapers. I believe in breastfeeding babies, but not until they're five. I buy pre-made baby food. Somewhere in all this, I want to find the balance between the fanatical and the uncaring. Somehow, I hope to settle on doable.
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3 Responses to This isn’t How My Mother Makes It

  1. This situation is the worst! I haven’t faced it, but I think if I did I might just choose all of the above options in response.

  2. Autumn Steagall says:

    This happened to us in our first months of marriage with spagetti…his mom makes the sauce homemade, I make mine from the can and add meat. My response to him wasn’t so nice…something along the lines of tearing up and telling him that if he wanted his mother’s cooking, he should have married her instead! I was not happy…now he loves my canned sause spagetti 🙂

  3. Pingback: Purple and Pastries | (The Not So) Hippy Mommy

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